Be Careful, This might lead to Misunderstanding

How would you like your steak done? Medium, rare, well cooked? Anyone has a taste and preference. Some might want to have it rare; some might prefer others. Whether we realize or not this thing will apply to other thing as well. Let’s see, I have seen a person who really love certain kind of music. Yes, Blues music it is.

https://guitar.com/guides/essential-guide/bb-king-best-guitar-solos-songs-moments/

He thinks that if it is not Blues then it is bad. It is wrong, then it doesn’t deserve to be listened anywhere in this universe. This is a kind of phenomenon that I encountered which I was surprised or even shocked. Well, I like Blues as well, but thinking that other music is bad? No, not even once. I like most kinds of music as well. But that’s not even the point.

When I asked him, how could you say that other music is not good? I mean, you listened to Rock music as well, am I right? Then he started to give me tons of excuses and arguments.

There is this youngster that I know. We hang out sometimes, he wants to be a mathematician someday. He is fond of science very much. He said, maths is the best subject that we can ever have at school. He means that it is a very important one that everyone should understand. He is good at it. He said that maths is not about counting, it is about a pattern. Everything in this world has a pattern. Science and math can explain it. So far, I am impressed with him. I never thought that math can be interesting because, I am not really fond of it. I thought that mathematics is all about when you know how much change you get after you buy things. I am sorry.

https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/mathematics-pattern-vector-826823

One day, he said that mathematics is the only knowledge that you need. You don’t have to learn anything else but maths. I was like what? How? I admit that maths is important, what about other things? Surely people need to learn other things too. There are lots of knowledge in the world that you could think of. People need at least some of them to get along and survive. Why only maths?

However, in other case, I am not really sure what teenagers think today. They idolize K Pop star and everything about them as if there is nothing more important than their idols. Then they start a fight with other people who don’t like their idols. I mean … dude, what are you doing? Don’t you have anything better to do than that? It goes to both sides. Lover and haters! Get a life, please!

https://lifestyle.kontan.co.id/news/jennie-blackpink-masuk-tiga-besar-daftar-kpop-idol-cewek-paling-top

Anyway. have you ever been sick? Have you ever had flu? I think everyone has the experience. Let’s say, you have a flu. Then you need to take a medicine. You go to the pharmacy, and ask them what should you have for the flu? One of them might say, this A medicine is good for flu. Then you take it, and you begin to recover. That medicine does work for you. You start to think that this A medicine is the best. Until one day you tell your experience to your friends. A medicine is the best for flu. But your friends don’t agree, they say B medicine is the best. Other friend says, no, C medicine works the best for flu.

This kind of argument will go on and on, and might create a fight over which one is the best medicine for the flu.

If you ask me, what is the best for the flu. I would say, it depends. For some people, A medicine is the best, for others might be B, and so on. So, I guess there is no such a thing called the best. People gotta choose what is the best for them and it might vary. Some people are allergic to certain medicine, we can’t deny it.

I think my point is clear. Let’s take the analogy all the above as a drug or medicine. We have our own kind of medicine; we choose it because it works for us. It doesn’t have to work for others because others might have their own medication that works for them. This way, we won’t be fanatics anymore. What do you say? Are we in the same page now?

By the way, beside about fav music genre, movie, idols and school subject ( like the above example ), what else that can turn us into fanatics? Can you apply analogy as medicine like the example above?

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/aug/30/modern-medicine-major-threat-public-health

How to get drunk safely and peacefully

1. First, make sure that you are in a physically and mentally good condition. You are not sad or depressed, you are a happy person. Then you can start to get drunk casually.
2. Get drunk with best friends. Don’t get drunk with any people. Please don’t. it has a big chance you will screw everything up if you get drunk with any people. But with best friends, it’ll be wonderful. In the circle of best friends, everyone will back each other up.
3. Know your limitation. There is no such a thing as too much is great. When you think you feel great, that’s it. Stop drinking too much. Your best friends will understand it. No one is gonna mock you to get some more. You guys are trying to have fun together, right?
4. Time: when the next day is holiday, or you don’t have anything important to do. Imagine if you get hangover while having job interview, that’s gonna be a disaster
5. You have a party in your pocket.
6. Listen to great music will add the joy and blissfulness. Blues is the best choice.
7. Pray to God before you get drunk ( if you have one )
8. Enjoy it guys

Culture

When I was in college, I got a class of Cross Cultural Understanding. I didn’t really understand what it was actually. But then I found out that, it was a really valuable class. It teaches about what we need to live a life today. As we can see, we come from various kinds of cultural background, and we need to understand that.

Cross-cultural understanding is more than realizing another culture is different from ours. The way to cross-cultural understanding is to learn to recognize individual differences and gain an appreciation, respect and knowledge of other cultures that are different from our own.

BBC Cross Cultural Understanding

Let alone different country, even in different family, we have so many differences. I remember when I stopped by on my friend’s house at the first time. I was truly shocked because everybody was shouting to each other. It was like a legend quarrel between cat and dog! Then I asked my friend, is everything okay? He said, yeah, sure what’s up. Well, I don’t know I thought I heard someone was angry. And he said calmly, oh that one, happens every day, just a normal thing in my family. At that time I was like, I said to myself … what? That doesn’t happen to most family I guess. Not in my family, not in my neighborhood for sure.

When we break it down into a person’s cultural background, we surely find it so complicated as well. There are some factors that shape a person mindset. There is family, and then surroundings/circle. Then they bring that culture outside the circle. In my opinion, when we understand this, we should comprehend and come to understanding why people do this and do that, etc.

In some environment, this one happened when I was in high school, I had a friend, a best friend who had unbelievable neighborhood.  I said this because it was the first time I encountered such a different one than I have at my place that I had to wonder why.

There, everyone liked to get drunk, gamble all night long, listen to Dangdut music, and also sing along in the middle of the alley, teasing everyone who passed by. Those are completely opposite of my things. I don’t drink, I think gambling is ridiculous, I like Rock N Roll, I don’t sing, I just play guitar, I don’t even tease any girl in front of me. Damn it was so… I should say … unique? I don’t know.

My best friend mostly backed me up anytime I turned down the offer of drinking alcohol, smoking cigarette ( at that time I didn’t smoke, I was so naïve and clumsy most of the time ), I was in a safe zone, he always covered me. I had a chance to see the different culture, without me getting involved too deep.

You see, people there worked their ass off (excuse my language), to get cheap booze, buy lottery, get drunk all night, sing any song they liked. They knew me as a guitar player at school, so they just left me with my friend’s guitar to accompany whatever the songs they liked to sing. I was like, can you imagine that? Playing guitar to accompany a bunch of drunken masters sing? It was like wtf… lol. That time my skill was really on a test all the time. Playing dangdut music, no, I made mistakes most of the time. So, I just suggested them sing Iwan Fals, or Koes Plus songs, which I could mostly handle. There it was. Everyone was happy.

Ok, that is my experience of encountering different culture, it was in a local area of my town, but it has very opposite culture.

This is the thing that I imagine if I were one of my friend’s unique neighborhood. If I were the member, I would think that the best thing that I can do to gain recognition is getting drunk, and be the drunken master. But if I have a chance to get out there, I will meet different culture, that I may find that it is more to life than just getting drunk, staying all night, betting on the cards, and teasing anyone on the street.

Come on guys, there must be something out there that can be the parts of your learning process in life.

Now, the question is, why do I bring up this kind of things?

Here is the explanation.

We have enormously large of environment. Have we ever explored it? Or are we just dwelling in the same box every day? The other world is waiting for you to explore.

Now before I lay down the actual point of this passage, allow me to describe a situation as analogy.

When it was the first time internet came out, there is only one internet café in town. It was lousy, slow, and the service was awful. However the people always come there. Do you know why? Because there was no other than that. It was impossible to choose because it was the only one in town. You got to choose one from others. But if there is only one choice. You got nothing else to pick. That is the same thing as dwelling inside one circle only. You just have that same old knowledge, thought, culture and same mindset. You never have alternatives. And that’s it. Stuck in the world that doesn’t evolve.

Why do we have to explore? No, I am not talking about hiking the highest mountain or diving into the deepest ocean. I am talking about the environment, the surrounding, and the circle. I really think that people should encourage to get out of their circle and see something new. To see and to learn about other culture even in your own town. I know. You always feel comfortable staying in your own circle. I do too. But once again you have to seek something new. Something that might be different from what you usually see in daily life. You might find something valuable or knowledge or perhaps a new way to solve a problem.

If you are stuck in the same thing, you will never go anywhere. No improvement, no network, and that’s it. It’s gonna be like Truman Burbank in Truman Show. Stuck in the same world, same routines, same circle, and became automatic like a robot.

People need others to be successful. It is impossible to get successful by yourself without any other support. So, just make more friends, and reduce your enemy. You know that someday you will need your friends to back you up.

When you like music, and meet a great musician

I happened to meet a great musician from Semarang. His name is “Mas Awig”. It was a coincident that my father was invited to party of very rich people in town and he asked me to join, well, I don’t really like weeding party actually, but yea… whatever I just wanted to  accompany my father, beside, my brother was going to be there too. So, we did attend that party then.

It was a great one, the food, the live music, and so on. But what attracted me much was the live music. There was this band from Semarang. It was so tight and perfect. They were there to accompany some of Indonesian artist singing their songs. One of them was Krisdayanti. I was amazed on how she (or maybe her management) chose the band. You know artist at her level doesn’t usually trust the local band, they usually just sing along with karaoke or minus one.

My brother sang some songs too with the band, well, he is a singer as well. It took me some time to realize that he knew some of the band members. He introduced me to the one who played guitar in the band, Mas Awig. Before I knew it, we got into a really great chat instantly. The fact that his band was chosen to accompany Krisdayanti was really great achievement to me. I discussed about that to him, and he answered any question I asked. He is a very low profile person with that huge competence on playing guitar. I found out that he was really fond of jazz and rock. Once he played with Ian Antono and Ahmad Albar (God Bless) on stage in Semarang. I asked him,”How was it like to play with them?” He answered, well it was kind a getting drunk with lots of Jack Danield, but in a very positive way. Lol, he was loving it, I can tell.

There is a basic question that I asked him as the one who likes to play music. You like jazz and rock, right? And you often play on a gig like this. Wedding party live music. How do you cope with your feeling and soul? Knowing that you don’t always play your kind of music in those occasion.

He with his serious facial expression said, just turn it off, and do it the best you can. I like any kind of music anyway.

So his advice is when you have to play music with other people which is not your kind of music, you just have to turn off your ego, just play along the best you can, and try to enjoy it. The next occasion, when you have a chance, you can always have a great jamming with your friends, playing your own things together. I still remember that conversation until right now, and yes he was right.

When you live with society, you can’t just pay attention with what you like, sometimes you just have to do what people like. In the situation when you are holding a guitar, and somebody asks you to play some songs, you just have to play it if you can, if you can’t, give it to other people who can do it. That will be fair and it is kinda generous behavior to let people shine.

The other day, my friend asked me to play guitar to accompany her singing a song. I don’t really like the song though. But I could do it. So I did it. It was fun actually.

This is it.

Actually my kind of music is like, Rock N Roll or blues kind of things.

This is what I actually like to play,

So, guys… that’s that. You like to play it, just play it for yourself, but sometimes, you have to play it for someone else …

It can get worse

It’s challenging to synchronize between what is in front of our eyes and what is taught at school or at home. There is almost no correlation between the theory and practice. In the class, we are taught to be nice and sincere, don’t do anything bad, don’t cheat and so on. Let’s just face it. Everyone wants easiest way to get there. If cheating can get you faster, do it, you’ll get the most advantage of it. If stealing is the only way to get rich do it. Everybody does, so why don’t we? You just do it, don’t get caught, and enjoy the result.

Often times, we see that bad guys can escape from punishment, or prison easily. Meanwhile the good guys have to suffer from social punishment, judgement, prison and so on. That’s not fair, isn’t it?

In this case, people might want to choose to be the bad guy who owns wealth, to bribe everyone to save themselves from punishment. Meanwhile in our education, we are told that crime demands just punishment. That is just plain contradiction. I mean anyone can see that. There is always contradiction on the way we are taught and what the reality tells us.

Here are some words that was popular some years ago,

Kecil dimanja, muda foya foya, tua kaya raya, mati masuk surga.

Let’s face, that’s not gonna happen in this real life. Whether you like it or not, life is not as easy as it seems. Life is simple actually, but it’s never easy.

Anyway, let’s just get back to the point.

When you get around of consequences, you tend to do it more, and more with the higher level and intensity. Supposed, you cheat on a test, and nobody sees you, then you have a satisfying result, you feel happy, am I right? Friends, teachers, even parents will think that you are smart. You finally get on the track. You did it well. Congratulations. However, in your mind, screaming, you know there is something wrong, yes you are happy, but why there is no great feeling of satisfaction?

The other side, you think … well, whatever, I am just gonna do it again, this is the way I wanna enjoy my life. I am a teenager, I need to have fun. And studying is not fun at all. True…

Before you know it, you’ll do it again and again. You never understand anything at school but you always get great scores. Life is beautiful.

In the life of teenagers, what will people see in a young man?

No, not really. It’s not how rich, handsome, beautiful, popular they are. Well, yes, it might be true. But people will mostly see how good they are at school. The parents are proud of their kids, if they are smart. Sadly, the word “smart” is not as simple as it looks. As you know, today, there are so many skills that can be considered to define whether you are smart or not. However, people tend to see the result by looking at their grades. That is why students tend to get good grade for whatever it takes, including cheating. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

This pattern will continue as they grow older. It is not the process and the effort that they try to perform, but the instant ways to get what they want.

What do you think people see in someone at my age? Good behavior? Contribution to society? No, that’s bullshit. Major bullshit!

People see others at my age from how rich they are. How many cars, houses, or even wives they own. Then it is what is considered as successful. Nobody thinks you are successful if you are not rich. Nobody. This is the same mindset that applies when you are a teenager, nobody thinks that you are smart if you don’t have good grades. See? The same shit all the time!

To gain the society recognition, people would love to do just about anything. Including, stealing, corrupting, bribing, deceiving, cheating….

Wait a minute! Cheating? Sounds familiar, eh? Yes, it is. They’ve been doing it since they were at school, they were cheating on a test. They still do it now on a much higher level of course. Cheating on money to get the same lame old ass society’s recognition!

History repeats itself. The question is, can you avoid what you did? Can you get around of your own Karma?

Nobody can escape

photo : https://www.123rf.com/photo_58084608_fame-and-fortune-3d-rendering-rough-street-sign-collection.html

The Problem of Insecurity

Everyone has insecurity in himself. Whether it is just a little bit and one might not realize it or it is huge that it has great impact in one’s life. Long time ago, people don’t think much about it. If there were anyone with lack of confidence, other would just say, “Whoa you fooling? Get your lazy ass here, and do it!”. Or other expressions like that.  However, today as everything evolves; it is discussed and talked about in many places.

Did I ever have that kind of feeling? Yes I did, and I still do. I am trying to get rid of it because it is quite disturbing. It may look that insecurity is not important. The truth is it is one of those many things that hold you back. People fail to be themselves at the best because of it.

When you are good at arts, you draw great pictures. They are great in many ways. But when there is this somebody who has the same skill that can draw in so much detail, much better than you do. How do you feel? You started to ask yourself, am I that good? Am I really talented just the way I thought before? You start questioning yourself. Then finally, no, there are thousands or maybe millions of people out there better than me. Alright, that’s it. I am done. Not gonna paint or draw anymore. I am not talented. And so on…

One day, it happened to me as well.

I am always a big fan of music. I don’t even know what I am today if it wouldn’t have been music. I always listen to my favorite music every day. I play guitar every day in my room. It’s been great, until someday I watched this person playing guitar on you tube. He is so damn great. And then I looked at another recommendation about playing guitar. There is this guy who is capable to play Led Zeppelin Live just the way Jimmy Page did in Madison Square Garden concert. I was like … wow this guy is really good. Then I started to think … I will never be able to top that. Impossible! He got the skill, timing, feel and soul perfectly!

As many other people do, I started to doubt about my skill. That’s it.

When you think you are good at something, then you see there are millions of people out there better than you. It hurts your pride as well as when your friends, your family member said, “Well you are good, but I think.. You should do something else”. “This kind of thing won’t get you anywhere”. Most people can’t take criticism. Then start firing the world with anger and insecurity.

I stopped playing guitar for years. I thought that I wouldn’t get anywhere near those great players. When I looked at my favorite guitar players, I was like wow,.. Amazing. That’s it. No urge to try playing again. Watching you tube is another worse idea, to know that those great young players play music easily, and smile wickedly.

But then, I found out that there is something missing. Then I tried it again, I felt like a new person who is excited to try again what I had left. Suddenly, I realize that I have no one to compete! I do this for myself because I like it! I know it’s only rock n roll but I like it. One of Rolling Stones’ tunes suddenly blew in my mind. Oh yea.. this is the main reason why I did it all these years. This is nice,,, really nice.

Most people like to compare. That is inevitable. In your mind there is always comparison like, oh that one is better than me, oh, I have so much better looking than him, oh I am fat, she is slim. I wanna be like that but I can’t. the list will go on and on.

Comparing yourself to other will result in two kinds of feeling. Both of them are dangerous. When you think you are better than someone, you will get cocky and arrogant. But when you think you are not better than that someone, you will feel insecure; you will have lack of confidence. This eventually will hold you back from being the best of you. There is no difference between being over proud and insecure. Both of them will distract you to be better. I guess you know what I mean. Nobody likes arrogant ass. And no one will be comfortable hanging out with insecure people. In the end, it will affect your social life. It will lead to some other things that you don’t like eventually.

Instead of comparing yourself to other, why not improving your own things and enjoy it?

Be happy, because God creates you to be happy.

pic from : https://www.idntimes.com/

Is there any choice? (part 2)

Some motivators said, passion is something that you can feel, not what you can find. However, there is one more thing that you should do before you can feel it. You have to try it. Try everything positive and useful. Do it the best you can, then you might find what your true interest is.

Some people might have thought negative before they actually do something. Let’s give it an example at school class. One student thinks that math is really hard because the others also think the same. This is truly a bad influence. People influence others. Environment takes important role to set one’s mind. This is why people should go out to meet someone else, to see the real world from different background. That way, there should be more various points of view to consider.

One of important questions is, when we already know that something is our passion, is it going to be our future job? The answer is yes, or no. No one can predict the future. But at least you are well prepared. You know what is good for you and what is not suitable. It is also important to at least plan the future.

High school students often fail to decide what next after graduation because they haven’t thought it through. Students at 10^th grade will never think about that cause it’s still long way to go to graduation. Before they know it, boom.. suddenly they are graduated and have no clue what to do next. In this case you can’t buy back time, unless you have a time machine. Then as usual they meet deadline to decide.

This is why some students drop out from university because they feel, “This is not me, I should study something else, … “. Even when they enroll to other university, they stil feel confused and finally drop out again. this happens because they never really thought it through. Their decision is based on deadline. Worse, it is based on the uncomfortable feeling if they just stay at home and being young unemployment. What would the world say about me, if I just stay at home? Those things will lead to random decision that eventually fail.

You don’t want to end up like that, do you? The best thing to do is to prepare everything, I know having fun is great. As a matter of fact it is one of the most important things in life. But let’s not forget about your future. If you end up bad, you will not likely to have fun anymore